This is me back in March, when I actually managed to do a bit of knitting (I'm not a knitter, don't look too closely...) and went marching for Europe.
Since then I have also sorted my studio, I have decluttered, I've written lists, I've got reams of notes for online courses and/or ebooks that I want to write. I have plans for next year and workshops booked. I have worked at school, I've done a few Facebook posts and sales. I've been on some fabulous holidays and trips this year, too. Norway, Paris, the Netherlands. We've had a German exchange student staying this past weekend, which was very good fun, and we've put up our Christmas tree. But I just.can't.concentrate - not properly - on anything. Or not for long. Everything I try and do is a bit like the thing you do when you are waiting for a train or a doctor's appointment. For example, yesterday I picked up a library book that I've been wanting to start, but it just felt like marking time, waiting.
And I've been feeling this since June 24 2016. Waiting for it all to be sorted out, for the madness to end. But it doesn't, it just gets worse. Every day, more idiocy, more lies, more hatred in the media.
And I can't pretend it isn't like this any more. I have realised that in order to create, to use my imagination, to lose myself in something, I need everything else to be OK, to be settled. I can't create when "bigger things" are afoot. My personal Big Things are logic, rationality, honesty and justice. I probably value those things more than I value a cracking good find in a charity shop or a mighty stash of beads and/or handmade paper. And so these are hard, hard times. I am distracted and unsettled beyond measure. I have considered getting into politics, and also law, but I know I don't want to really. I just want the grown-ups to get a grip and sort it all out, so I can get back to my sewing machine and my kitchen and do what I love to do - noodling around with thread and flapjacks.
Sorry about the rant, but honesty is best. To make up for it, and thank you for your patience, here is a picture of an Indian toran that I'm going to put up in my doorway:
I hear you and appreciate your honesty. We can only control our attitude. Don’t let something you can’t control drain your energy. It’s your energy use it for yourself!
ReplyDeleteI am considerably older than you and I feel exactly the same about Brexit. But I think my extra years have taught me to let it go to a certain extent. It isn’t going to be sorted out to our satisfaction but life will go n. Things will be different but life will go on. Please don’t let it get in the way of your immense talent and creativity. Just know that you are living your life the best way you can. Have a peaceful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Xxx
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. I have managed to get myself engrossed in embroidery sometimes and to delight in our adventures or activities. But those moments are a respite, not the usual state of things.
ReplyDeleteI know I don't have the temperament for politics, so I'm just going to have to hope (with you) that the grownups take charge soon!
Dear Iz, I can imagine (only a bit) how you must feel ... because I live somewhere else ... But I too have these horrible feelings about how some "grown-ups"(hmmmm ARE they ???) when behaving like four-year-old's : if you don't do as I say you have to, than I will be VERY mad at you ... you KNOW who I mean !) But .... Jackie's sooo right : life WILL go on ... All wé can do is behave normal and friendly in our own little circle : perhaps all these small circles will unite one day and things will grow better ...
ReplyDeleteDespite everything : a HAPPY Christmas and a HAPPY New Year ! Warm greeting from a far-away friend, Els.
p.s. a kind of Pussy hat "avant la lettre" ;-)
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